| July 2009: Those purchasing a vehicle from Max Motors in Missouri will receive an AK-47 assault | |
| rifle with their purchase, during the month of August.) | |
| (As before, Arthur is glued to his seat in the Masons' Arms. Two pints are standing on the | |
| the table. Gordon enters.) | |
| Gordon | Late again. Had to take the old banger in for a service. |
| Arthur | Sorry to hear that. Is Bridget unwell? |
| Gordon | No, no, no. Dropped the car off for repairs. Had to walk the rest of the way. Cheers! |
| (He blows the froth off his pint, and drinks.) | |
| Gordon | It's coming to the end of its days. Like me, it's getting old, and soon… you know… |
| Arthur | It'll go to the great scrap-yard in the sky. |
| Gordon | Or more likely to the car-breakers down the road. Yes, it's been a good friend, but the built- |
| in planned obsolescence is beginning to kick in. | |
| Arthur | How old is it? |
| Gordon | Two years… Yes, it'll soon be time to go shopping for a new car. |
| Arthur | Now if you lived in Missouri, you could go to Max Motors, where they're giving away a free |
| special gift with every car purchased. | |
| Gordon | Really? What's that? |
| Arthur | An AK-47 assault rifle. |
| Gordon | That's useful to know. I can't find mine anywhere. |
| Arthur | This man -- Mr Max Motors -- is very keen on guns. |
| Gordon | Well he would be. He's an American. |
| Arthur | He says the purpose of a gun is protection. |
| Gordon | Against what? |
| Arthur | Against other people with guns. And besides, it's good for business. |
| Gordon | Whose business? |
| Arthur | People who make and sell guns. He claims that the protection afforded by increased gun |
| ownership leads inevitably to a lower crime rate. | |
| Gordon | That can't be right, surely? I heard there were over sixteen thousand murders over there, |
| every year, two thirds of those with guns. | |
| Arthur | And that's while they're protected. Just think how many more there'd be if their weapons were |
| taken away, and they were left unprotected. | |
| Gordon | So… |
| Arthur | Thank God for Mr Smith and Mr Wesson. Otherwise, without guns, the Americans would be |
| forced to strangle each other. And then they might -- you know -- | |
| Gordon | Sprain a wrist. |
| Arthur | Yes. |
| Gordon | It's all about the Second Amendment. The one that gives the right to bear arms. |
| Arthur | They should never have put it in writing. |
| Gordon | Well exactly. Look at the trouble it's caused over the years. There's this never-ending struggle |
| between Americans in favour of guns -- | |
| Arthur | The people who've already got them… |
| Gordon | … and those against. |
| Arthur | The people who haven't got them. |
| Gordon | No, no. No, they've all got guns too. |
| (They drink.) | |
| Arthur | And at bottom, it's really all about money. The NRA and so on… |
| Gordon | I know that the Americans are the leading makers of guns. |
| Arthur | And suffer the most deaths? |
| Gordon | No, no…. No, they manage to export most of those. |
| Arthur | Yes of course. To all those countries they're helping on the pathway to freedom and democracy. |
| Iraq… Afghanistan… | |
| Gordon | It's very nice of them to help out. Even though nobody asked them. And everyone is hinting |
| they should pack up and go. | |
| Arthur | What's their reply to people who say they should withdraw from other peoples' countries? |
| Gordon | They tell them to mind their own business. |
| Arthur | And if they don't? |
| Gordon | They shoot them. |
| (They pick up their pints as the lights fade.) | |
| © Leonard Morley 2009 | |