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FAKING IT

Oh hello dear, long time no see --
(Oh God, now who the hell is she?)
Still the same job? What a bore!
(I know our paths have crossed before.)
 
Rodney and I have moved, you know --
A little flat near Saville Row.
Are you still in the same old place?
(I do, I do, I know her face.
 
I love the outfit -- love the dress.
(ASDA, perhaps, or M and S.)
And may I ask who does your hair?
I'll make a note -- (not to go there.).
 
It must be years since last we met.
(Keep talking, girl, you'll get it yet.)
You haven't changed -- you're just the same.
(What was her ghastly husband's name?)
 
You must come round for drinky-poos.
(What have I said? Oh please refuse!)
Oh what a pity! What a shame!
Another time... (What is her name?)
 
Your eldest doing well? That's nice.
(Was he the one who married twice?)
And how's your Mum, dear? How's she been?
I see...
          Still dead.
                         And you?
                                        Still Queen!


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